Always do unto others

by Nita
For the Week of December 17, 2007
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Always do unto others
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The week of December 17, 2007
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The things that go around always come back around to bite one in the bottom. Case in point: Jack December and his May bride, Sharon.

I guess it really is true what people say about the things that go around always coming back around to bite one in the bottom. Case in point: Jack December and his May bride, Sharon. Remember when Jack found out about Sharon and Brad's nasty two nighter? Okay, technically, I guess it was a night and a morning. And after that, about the infamous Nick-Sharon kiss in the closet, err, bank vault? A kiss that wound up being a whole lot of chest-beating, hair rending ado about a little less than nothing, by the way. Anyway, I remember Jack wearing that affronted indignation shawl around his shoulders until it practically turned to tatters, pouting and poking Sharon with pointedly rude remarks every chance he got. I guess, considering how often he's wandered unwisely down the wild, lying side of the GC road, perhaps he should have planned ahead and treated Sharon then the way he hoped she'd treat him later should he ever find himself stuck solidly by his past bad behavior between that proverbial rock and a hard place.

As for Sharon, despite the fact that she probably has good cause for her disenchantment with her once dear darling, I haven't been able to squeeze out so much as a squirt of sympathy for her supposed sorrow. Because, despite all those occasions she stood by Jack's side, that public smile of support pinned securely to her stiff upper lip, I never really felt she had one of those through thick and through thin, for better and for worse, be it high-tide truths or low-water lies, kind of caring, for her Jackrabbit. And I also find myself wondering whether she was even paying attention when the marrying minister recited that part about forsaking all others for her beloved to be. And if there was nothing wrong with her hearing, then she must have assumed the minister couldn't possibly have been referring to Victor or Brad.

And speaking of Brad, though I find them just about as dull together as cold, greasy dishwater, obviously Sharon still harbors fond feelings of love for Bradley, simmering not so unseen beneath her fickle surface. I feel like I don't really know the man I'm married to, she complained to someone or other during the week. News flash Mrs. Abbott. You don't. But, what's new about that? Except for Nick, she hasn't really known much about any of the men she's involved herself with over the years. Just my opinion, but I think she used Jack as a Band-Aid to cover up the still bloody boo-boos left by Nick's and Brad's back to back rejections of her. Just as I think that for Jack Sharon is just a satisfactory substitute for the woman he really loves, which is Phyllis.

But back to Sharon. Like I said, in light of what has surfaced, I don't think she's wrong for questioning her continuing commitment to Jack, but wailing about it being a betrayal of Noah's trust sounds like a fingertips barely touching stretch to this fan. I mean, it's not as if Noah or Sharon were so much as two blips on his radar screen at the time Jack was busy tricking John. And why would Jack turning out to be a liar devastate Noah's self-centered little world anyway? Heck, every adult in this boy's life has proven to be a cheat or a liar, or both at the same time. So why should Jack be held to any higher standards than the rest of them? Actually, I thought Noah took Jack's contrite confession quite well. Perhaps the adults around him should rip a page or two out of Noah's book of behavior, particularly the chapter entitled The High Road of Forgiveness. To me, Sharon's strident and repeated chorus of the 'How Could You' song sounds a bit like overkill. I think she has found an acceptable excuse to terminate the marriage that never should have happened in the first place, and a way to justify her resumed pursuit of a now foot loose and fancy free, Bradley. I say, let her have at him; he'll be in definite need of a soft and sympathetic shoulder to slump against once it's determined he has no baby boy to call Arthur. And with Jack out of the picture, Noah will need a new man to call Step-papa.

I couldn't help but laugh a little when Sharon told Jack she was at home (her old home), and Jack wanted her to return to her real home, with him. Because, thanks to John's in the knick of time romantic missive and Gloria's greediness, soon neither Jack nor Sharon may have the right to call the Abbott manse home for much longer. I wonder what the John Abbott apparition will have to say should Gloria flounce in triumphantly, Kevin walking on the back of her floozy flip flops, as usual, and heaves Jack and his designer duds out into the snow-covered hedges. I suppose he will simply smile benignly, clapping in silent approval as Gloria and her new Jeffrey toy take over the premises. I'm sooo disappointed in John.

Even though I have little hope it will result in any real repercussions, it has still been rather fun watching Jeffrey hold Gloria's round little heels uncomfortably close to the heat of the tainted cream fire. Although you have to give credit to Gloria for having bigger round brass ones than any of the so-called macho men in this hotbed of near incestuous bedroom community. As each of Jeffrey's accurate accusations hit the center of their target, this steel-nerved madam of manipulation never so much as gave a telltale flinch or shiver and bluffed him like the pro she's become. Not that Jeffrey bought her little playact, as good as it was. Instead, he made it clear he'd be prepared to match her bluff for bluff, even if the steps carried them right up to the appropriate policeperson's desk.

But as always, if she takes Jeffrey up on his proposition of matrimony, the feisty Gloria feline can land feet first and remain un-imprisoned in this situation. Because really, how much punishment is there in wedding a man who will eventually come to love even the very ground you slither across? Certainly sounds like a win/win situation to me. But I did have to give a hand clap of appreciation for the irony in Gloria as the one being wed for her bank account for a change. Unfortunately for Jeffrey, I doubt she'll be as generous a benefactor to him, as John and William were to her. In fact, I wouldn't be the least bit taken aback to find that Jeffrey winds up lamenting the moment he tried to get the best of Gloria. Because not only will he probably have to drop to all fours and beg for every dime she drops in his personal coffers, he'll also have the Baldwin-Fisher-Fenmore family of felons to contend with. Perhaps he might want to plan to eat all his meals out (and not just because Gloria is a lousy cook), and sleep with both eyes open painfully wide else he might not live to spend any of the red cents Gloria will grudgingly dole out to him.

Of course, that's provided Jeffrey even makes it to the 'I do' part. Because Gloria's condition that Jeff not only has to make everyone believe he's fallen helplessly in love with her, will undoubtedly buy her enough time to figure out a way to wiggle out of the wedding, or, worst case scenario, come up with a way to help Jeffrey toward the same fate suffered by all her other unfortunate former mates. At any rate, the bottom line is, as long as Gloria becomes Mrs. Bardwell, no one will ever know it was her DNA inside the gloves she wore while tainting the cream. For me, even it the law never learns of her part in the plot, I would be satisfied if only Jill, Kay and Jack knew the truth. At least, Jack could use it to keep her grubby, greedy paws off his family's fortune.

Ahhh, romance, sweet romance, was wafting ever so gently in the air during that near kiss between Cane and Lily, wasn't it? First their bodies made contact, then came the music. Followed by the ever so longing looks into each other's eyes. I tell you, by the time their foreheads touched; I was literally clinging to the edge of my sofa seat, willing their lips to actually meet. Of course, some inconsiderate maintenance worker had to choose that very moment to click the on switch of their vacuum cleaner. Making me have to settle for repeated rewindings watching the moment of the almost kiss approach again and again. I know every fan doesn't appreciate the potential in this pairing, but for me, it's really the best thing going right now. Compared to most of the other GC residents, whose names or reputations are moderately or severely mud-splattered due to their numerous extramarital or immoral activities, Cane and Lily are innocently refreshing and something different than the same old same old. Neither has cheated on their significant other, nor have they stabbed a friend or family member in the back. And though both have been cheated upon or manipulated against, neither, other than Cane's retaliatory sofa-sex session against Amber, has sought any real revenge against those who wronged them.

The other potential pairing, Heather and Daniel, could happen, though the scribes are almost trying too hard with these two. They seem to be traveling down the standard dislike turns to desire road. I have seen sparks between these two, but it was kind of painful watching them lock horns over the fender-denter. I know Heather is supposed to be this harder than nails Assistant DA, but it might be time to make her more bark than bristling bite. Her reactions over the fender seemed way over the top next to Daniel's stammering timidity. If a romance between them is to have any hope of working, Heather can't continue to come across manlier than Daniel. Just my opinion.

And then there is Amber. Why, with all the money she has secreted away, is she so determined to fake her way into Jabot's Faces campaign? First of all, her disguise is ridiculous. So to have anyone who knows Amber fooled by this flimsy disguise is to make them stupid as well as blind. And besides that, I thought Amber wanted to torture us through song, instead of with her silent likeness staring at us from some print or internet ad? All she babbled about for months was the dropping of her demo. That was allegedly the reason she backstabbed her only buds and stole the stolen money right out from under then, even though its disappearance could have sent her pals to prison? And this is the person who wants people like Cane, Kay and Jill to believe she's become a new and improved individual instead of the lying cheating thief she was a couple of months ago? Right! Obviously she hasn't learned one single thing about the folly of fanciful fabrication. Any bad thing that happens to her as a result of her new scheme, she more than deserves. By the way, nice to see Daniel finally beginning to question some of Amber's actions. It's tiresome watching him and Kevin act as Amber's personal doormat, jumping up to follow each and every one of her commands. Wait until he realizes, if he ever does) that Amber bamboozled them all and is just sitting on all that money!

Speaking of deserving, I think J.T., through his dogged determination, has earned the right to be the designated Daddy to Victoria's wee babe. For him, it's been all about Victoria from the beginning, as much as he's come to love Baby Boy Newman, clearly he would have given him up to have the lady he's come to love so deeply. Even though I don't find he and Victoria the most exciting of couples (they are right up there with Michael and Lauren, who also have a kind of ho-hum happiness that's pleasant but nothing that makes this fan race to her TV in hopes of a sighting), they are a decent enough serving of filling type fare to counteract all the backbiting, sleeping around and scheming being done by their GC counterparts. I presume most, if not all, of the pre-shot scenes of Victoria have been used up, since we haven't seen hide nor hair of her since she was transported upstairs at the Newman Ranch (in this case being transported upstairs is different from those who ascend the stairs to the Attic and are never heard from again). Speaking of the Attic, do you suppose that's where Devon disappeared to? Anyway, with regard to Victoria, I expect when next we see her; she'll be just about ready to receive the kiss of awakening. Perhaps right about the time Baby Boy Newman is scheduled to make his debut in polite GC society. Nothing, I know for sure, just guessing.

And lastly, when it comes to the former Romeo and Juliet of Genoa City, two have been keeping company, and the third, Victor, has become the odd man out. Obviously already regretting the harsh words roared at glass-shattering decibels in Nikki's direction, Victor, in his usual gruff manner, waited a beat too long to mumble some conciliatory syllables at Nikki. Instead, he chose to appear at her home away from home, Sharon's former place, to try to make amends until everything was all better. Unfortunately for him, David was already busy trying to make things better for Nikki, which Victor could clearly see through the window. You know, one of the Newmans really ought to think about doing something about some kind of covering for that window. Victor isn't the first Newman man to catch his so-called spouse having a little hanky panky playtime through its panes. Not that Nikki was up to anything all that bad. She had no way of knowing her current husband was going to stroll down just at the moment the man who'd like to be the future man in her life was going to join with her in a little light lip lock. Fan Cora, below, thinks I'm a little too hard on David the Chow, but, nothing against his acting ability, I just don't like him. He came on like a sneak, though he said it was because of Carmen, and I still find his manner sneaky and questionable. But that's just me; no other fan is obligated to feel the same.

Now, I'm not saying by any means that Victor deserves instant forgiveness. He can be quite nasty, and from all the rumors is about to become nastier still. But we all know it's all because he does still love his Nikki, though his actions might call that fact into dispute. Was it cute or what to see him wiping away tears when Nikki was playing What Child is This on the piano? And later, their brief stroll down memory lane was enjoyable. Moments like those make Victor and Nikki. I want more!

REMEMBER: SEND ME YOUR THOUGHTS ON THE YEAR'S BEST BY THE END OF THE WEEK, IF YOU CAN, SO I CAN INCLUDE YOUR COMMENTS IN THE YEAR END'S BEST OF THE BEST. THANKS!

Okay, that's it; that's all that coming from this quarter. What comes next is what all of you had to say.

* * * * * * *

CORA - I've read your scoop a few times. I moved over to the Y&R from AMC. The writing there was and still is terrible. AMC fans were so disappointed when Vincent Irizarry was let go, me included. Now I watch the Y&R. I have not been satisfied with the character Vincent is playing, David Chow. Vincent is an excellent actor and even though he has been on Y&R for a year now, the writers have not developed his character. Putting him with Nikki was a big mistake. I just wanted to tell you to not be so hard on Vincent. He is multi-talented and not hard on the eye. He has just signed another contract for 1 year. Let's hope the writers will develop his character and give him another love interest.

TPS - There is one thing I could never have figured out over the last little while. Gloria and Kevin were able to spy on Jack using security cameras from the board room. So where were the cameras when Gloria was tainting the face cream? I would assume that there would have been cameras in the lab or in the hallway outside the lab, so why hasn't anyone ever looked at those, or did I miss an episode and they did? And I'm in agreement about Jack. Instead of visiting Jack all the time, shouldn't he go visit his wife and berate her for a change?

HENRI - Wrap up the Gloria SL ASAP! PLEASE. Why is everyone down on Jack? Gloria, Michael, Kevin and Victor have done worse. Brad needs to get lost. He is far too self important. Victor needs to lighten up. I like Lily and Cane--their story needs to be told slowly. I hope that rumors that LML is gone is a sign that the REAL Y&R is on its way back!

BEATRICE - I won't talk about Gloria since everyone who wrote to you this past week already said what I was feeling: It's time for this woman to pay! All I ask is that Jack, Jill and Jeffrey be a part of it, and oh, can her family be caught too? Now, I have one gripe about one of your responses. The person said only the Winters and Sharon seem to have morality on the show. Really, SHARON? Sharon, the constant cheating and lying holier than thou woman married to Jack, who is already running from him because she knew she shouldn't have married him anyway since she either still loves Nick, or wants Brad? THAT Sharon? M'kay!

As for Neil, generally yes, he's a moral upstanding guy--but I'm having a problem with him always being Victor's butt kisser! He constantly seems to have a problem with Victor's "business" decisions and calls him out on it. But as soon as Victor tells him to just do it - Neil does, conveniently forgetting how wrong he felt those decisions were. If he feels so strongly about Victor making bad decisions born out of a need for revenge or spite, and made from personal feelings rather than good, common business sense - why doesn't he just walk away and form his own company? Or better yet, open another club? Neil's morals aren't that great either. Lastly, I love Lily and Cane!

VIVIEN - All right, I get it. Jack is a saint who makes "mistakes", like intentionally taking advantage of his ailing father and what else, oh yes, intentionally taking advantage of an ailing Victor... Then there was Jack intentionally breaking about a dozen laws while he secretly bought back Jabot. And then there was Jack threatening JiMin to keep his mouth shut about it. There's more, but I think I made my point. I've only been watching Y&R for about five years, and in all that time, I've rarely seen Jack regret his actions and then only after he got caught. Maybe he has a more stellar background which elicits your sympathy, Nita. But I've yet to see it. As for Gloria, I know I'm one of her few defenders, but even her most dastardly acts are soap opera standard. Except for the cream (which she did NOT intentionally set upon the public), ever since she showed up in town, she's been nothing more than an aging femme fatale. John loved her and she did in fact, love John. I will never forget how she was turned away by the family when she wanted to be with him after his stroke and how she swore to make him well. She did love him and his ghost knows that. The hurt Gloria caused John was the typical Y&R fare: she was trying to hide an innocent secret. (Her nondivorce, which she didn't even know about until she was being blackmailed) Stupid woman, not evil. She did indeed marry Will for his money, but that's what golddiggers do. She barely had time to make it worth his while before he was planning to turn her in. Lucky woman, he died first. Doesn't make her evil. As for her kids, they may be stupidly loyal, but they aren't any more reprehensible than 95 percent of the rest of the inhabitants of Genoa City.

PATTI - Alright, they need to wake Victoria up already, it keeps dragging on. She needs to be there for the baby. And can we find out who the baby daddy is ... it gets frustrating after awhile. Please bring Dru back. That would really stir the pot. They never found her body, so I would think she will be coming back, and let amber and Daniel hook up already. Are they ever going to catch her with that stolen money? The writers let the really bad criminals off and make the one that don't do that bad of things go to jail. What's up with that?

GRACE - How greedy can Gloria be? She got 4 million from William and now she wants the Abbott money. I am not defending what Jack did, but why does she need more money. She really is a gold digger! And I hope Sharon doesn't run to Brad when she leaves Jack. I think she & Nikki should just be single and independent for a while. I do hope Lily & Cane get together; I think they're cute.

SHERI - I just wanted to say that I'm with you on Lily & Cane, I just love those two. When it first started looking like that was the direction the storyline was headed, I really didn't think I was going to like it at all, but I have to say that divorce party kiss won me over. I've read lots online from haters saying that Lily acts too much like a child etc to be with Cane. But I think Cane is the kind of man that can make any woman, at any age, giggly and a little crazy. For me the Lily and Cane pairing has been the most refreshing delightful surprise of this whole last year of soap watching. Cheers!

BAJANGIRL - I'm beginning to wonder if maybe Amber isn't a little crazy. What exactly does she have to gain from entering the contest, even after Kevin changed the wording on the restrictions? The competition is judged at least partly on inner beauty and I somehow doubt she's going to write "I moved to LA and seduced an underage rich kid, encouraged him to drag race which led to him having an accident and needing a kidney (although I did generously give him one of mine); then I got pregnant for him (or maybe for an R&B singer friend of mine) and ran away from medical treatment so I could find out if it was my rich boy toy before his family did and kicked me out. My child died, though, so I took up my cousin's baby and passed it off as the rich kid's. Somewhere along the line a sex tape I made with one of my ex's surfaced, but luckily the identical twin sister covered for me. Not that I learned anything, though, because I moved to Genoa City and deliberately got involved in porn. I also drugged a man and faked a marriage to get money, stole money from a dead guy... I could go on and on. But I have done one thing few others have been able to do: I was an alcoholic, but apparently since I moved to Genoa City I'm cured, because I can control my drinking without a problem." The way I see it, Amber should be disqualified the moment she is unwigged since resorting to trickery to win the competition is not a sign of inner beauty; moreover, doing this will dash any chance in hell she has of getting Cane back - not that I think she has one. BTW, I got the impression Cane was on to her when she spoke to him. He seemed amused at first when she was flirting, then as he was questioning her it seemed like an interrogation with him throwing in the aboriginal name and so on. His comment about her phone as well made it seem as if he knew. As for Amber's partner in crime, Kevin, although he amuses me, I will lack any sympathy for him when he ends up back in jail (and I hope he will). He is terrified of being locked up and yet he doesn't seem to have a moment's hesitation about performing illegal act after illegal act. I would think he'd be so afraid to go back to jail he'd at least try to stay on the straight and narrow, but apparently not, so why should I feel sorry for him? And Gloria's concern for him when Jeffrey threatened to tell the police? A little late in my estimation. If she cared that much she would've left him out of her schemes, especially after Michael warned her some of them could wind them up in jail. Not that I think Gloria's in any real danger; the only way she's going down completely is if Victor has anything to do with it because we know he can't lose. On a final note, Ted Shackelford has been doing a phenomenal job playing Jeffrey. I never think of him as William. He brings a level of menace to this character that I could never imagine in William.

POPPYCOCK - Well, it seems unanimous! Glo-hag needs to go down! When is this 'meerkat', cloaked feathers and faux fur, and her clan gonna pay for their crimes and misdeeds? I have to say, what really rattles my cage most are her feeble sons going along with her half-cocked schemes! Are these two 'tools' so daft they can't see past her reckless behavior and go along, knuckles dragging, with every one of her shameful plans? The one saving grace, is maybe, just maybe, Jeffrey has seen past those bulging, bug-eyed blues to manipulate his way to his brother's fortune! I just hope he's smart enough to sleep with one eye open if they should trip down the gangway in un-holy matrimony. On to the Newman's ranch, where the Moustache shows a rare moment of jealousy when rifling through Nikki's paperwork and finds David's love letter. Well, how dare she bring THAT into HIS house, and off she goes, dragging her carpetbag to ... Sharon's? Hmm, now this could be interesting, Sharon, having left her lying-one-too-many-times husband (isn't that the main criteria of being a politician?) is nestled in her ol' home, the one she shared with Nick and all those memories of raising their family. Ahhh, it actually made me ache for the Bill Bell years (again)! She looked beautiful and so at peace, until the dreaded phone call from Brad, the man-ho! Can't this guy prey on another rich woman to satisfy him? Jill's available. Anyway, sorry to disagree with Nita here, but the domestic scene with Nick and Phyllis was SUCH a letdown! What kind of simpleton wouldn't make his ex-con wife's homecoming, after months of prison food, more special than a pizza, video game and a childish 'welcome home' banner thrown together? At least Victor and even Lauren, know how to make good use in their phone call to make someone feel special. That scene made me feel like I was watching something from "Animal House" when Flounder was trying to put the moves on his victim! Very disappointing and yet, totally expected - Phyllis has yet to expect anything more of Nick, the Neanderthal, he still treats her like she's the mistress he's hiding. Too bad, the Phyllis pre-Nick was much more feisty and fun to watch. Maybe now that Jack is wandering the streets, wifeless and senate-less, they can both wallow in their "tainted titles" over high balls and do what most of us have been waiting for them to do - HOOK UP! Well, Nita, here's to the new year bringing us some much needed changes, beginning hopefully with the exit of LML! I will hold my champagne flute up high to that!

TANYA - I finally did it. I stopped watching Y&R. I didn't make a conscious decision to do so; however, when I get home in the evenings and have to choose between watching Gloria gloat and get away with murder (literally), or watching ... oh, I don't know ... the grass grow, I had to choose the grass! I don't think the writers see the finished product. If they did, there would be no way they could continue to force feed us this garbage. I just KNEW that during sweeps week, things were going to shake out in Genoa City. So much for that. This is what I would like to see: Nicholas starts acting strange and Phyllis decides that she's curious about the results of the blood test. (Remember the blood test that no one saw but Nicholas) She steals a piece of hair out of his brush (or beard, or chest, whichever makes for the best "must see" viewing) and takes Summer for a DNA test and finds out a-la Maury Povich "YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER!" She slithers over to Jack to share the devastating news, which flips the switch on the light bulb in Jack's head and they have Summer tested and find out that she is indeed Jacks baby. Meanwhile, back at the Hall of Justice, Jeffrey decides he's tired of playing games with Gloria. No need to blackmail the alley cat, after all, he and Glo-hag are the only surviving relatives of William so if he can send her up the river he inherits William's money. When Heather first arrived, she found files belonging to William that indicated that he knew who contaminated the cream. All she needs is the information from Jeffrey; conduct a DNA test on the mangy feline and BAM! Jana has a new cellmate! (needs to be a little more dramatic, like maybe Michael trying to smuggle her out of town in the trunk of his car or something and he gets busted along with her. Two criminals for the price of one!) Across town, at the Newman Ranch, Victoria awakens and has her baby tested and sends Brad the cad packing to seek out his Sharon toy who will be out in the cold due to a Jack and Phyllis reunion over Summer Abbott. About this time, David Chow-hound is draining Nikki's bank account to blow town, because the backup surveillance tape from the GCAC has been found and shows him going into JiMin's room. Hmmm. Okay, my creativity is waning at this point, because there are far too many garbage storylines that need to be wrapped up. Nita, as always, thanks for keeping us informed. You really should send in a resume to Y&R. If LML is really gone, what better replacement?

SHANNON - I've been a dedicated Y&R fan for the past year and I have to say that the show is going downhill. While I don't want to abandon my soap, B&B didn't look too bad the other day but unfortunately I'm a one soap type of gal so moving on. For all those who want to see Victor and Nikki together I say WHY? I've enjoyed Nikki's growth since she left Victor. She seems to be a better business women and has had her nose out of the high heavens. I'm sick of the cat and mouse game Victor plays with her. One minute its move into the ranch to be close to Vikki and the next it's get out of my sight and don't come back unless I'm not here. This fan is confused. He's either going to let it go and treat her with a little respect to work their problems out like adults or divorce her. I like David and Nikki together and hope she kicks Victor to the curb! Although it's not official, the spouse switch has been refreshing. I like Cane and Lily together as well as Amber and Daniel. It just seems that both couples compliment one another I'm hoping the writers take it slow and let these relationships grow meaningfully. Sleeping beauty and baby are so cute although we didn't get to see them this week. I hope that they get better. I'm rooting for Brad as the farther. It's going to be interesting to see them arrange visits and weekends. To see Brad and J.T. battle over PTA visits should be amusing. I can't tell you how long I've waited for the day for Mrs. Glo to be on the receiving end of blackmail. So it turns out that our brother in-law doesn't want to play so nice and I hope he keeps his claws clinched tightly around her neck for a while. I'm enjoying the flushed look she gets every time Jeff walks into a room.

TRAVIS - As always, reading your column is wonderful and no one minds waiting until Tuesday! Unfortunately, reading your column is better than watching the show right now. As a "medium" length viewer of 17 years (plenty of folks have more seniority) this is ABSOLUTELY boring to watch right now. I just watched all of the current week shows and fast forwarded 90%. I did pay attention to the Gloria blackmail a little and I actually like the sparks between the "too cool for you Heather" and the "prodigal, I am always in trouble son of Phyllis." Other than that, who cares about any of it? I disagree with your love of Cane and Lily. I have no use for either character. At the same time, you are absolutely dead right (and yes. pun was intended) with John's ghost just popping up. HE'S DEAD. And this is not General Hospital or Days of our Lives. Y&R used to be about class, engaging characters and yes, some crazy storylines to shake it up. (Who can forget Sheila trying to gas her mother to death or the endless Cricket/Nina dramas) The most frustrating part is the dropped storylines or the ones which do not add up, i.e. did Victor just all of a sudden stop looking for his son? Cane was heard months ago making a comment sounding very "I am a phony." So, enough venting. I guess we just ride it out.

LMFAN - Those upstanding characters Phyllis and Jack and Nikki and Victor make you smile, but you can't manage a little grin for the Baldwins celebrating their second wedding anniversary because they support/cover for Gloria and Kevin? Sorry I find that a bit confusing. You obviously don't like the Baldwin/Fishers which is your right but your reasoning is a bit strange given the history of the couples who make you smile. By the way I smile at Phyllis and Jack scenes as well as Nikki and Victor scenes but not as much as I consistantly do when watching Likey. The two couples you mentioned have done just as much dirty dealing and even more than Lauren and Michael lately but that doesn't bother you? At least Lauren and Michael have a happy, loving and faithful marriage. Nobody was hurt when they started dating and they actually started as friends became lovers and married before having a child. They don't pine for others and nobody was cheated on, and they have remained faithful in mind and body in their over three years together. I am not always crazy about what Gloria does, but I have to say Lauren and Michael make me smile almost every time I see them interacting on screen, and I think there are many others who are smiling when watching Lauren and Michael enjoy each other and their young son. I am just sorry you can't get past the soapy drama of Gloria and Kevin to enjoy the wonderful chemistry between Lauren and Michael. You should try it. You just may find more scenes to smile at.

HELEN - If hateful Gloria marries Jeffrey, he will be her FIFTH husband, not her fourth. She was married to Michael's father and Kevin's father before John and William. Enjoy your columns.

CAROLYN - I don't understand Nikki. If she had borrowed money from a financial institution, they would have wanted it back at some point. Why is she angry that Victor is calling in the loan? Is he not supposed to want his money back? Also, if she is so independent, why did she borrow money from Victor in the first place? Having an affair doesn't make you independent, standing on your own makes you independent! Secondly, which is worse? Cheating or manipulating a loved one for financial gain? Sharon admitted that she wasn't perfect, yet she had the audacity to tell Jack that she can't trust him? This from a woman who told Brad 'My real name is George' Carlton that she didn't think she loved Jack because when she was falling off of the cliff, all she could think of was Brad? GMAB! Third, I'm glad Jack resigned as senator of the great state of Wisconsin! He didn't deserve to be senator in the first place! I don't care what Jack Abbott fans say. Jack manipulating a mentally failing John into writing a new will was low ... even for Jack! Next, I'm hoping Victoria wakes up soon and that her baby daddy is J.T.! I can't stand how irritating and smug Brad is! He gave Victoria nothing but grief when she was up and around, now he loves her and the baby so much? GMAB! Lastly, the HW at Y&R should be ashamed of themselves, sending the message that the proper punishment for involuntary manslaughter is a $50 million inheritance and another marriage proposal! When the heck is Gloria going to be donning a prison jumpsuit? Phyllis went to prison; she didn't stay, but she did go. Jana is in prison. When is Gloria going? How ridiculous is it that this golddigger gets to walk the streets of Genoa City a multi-millionaire, plotting and scheming and showing absolutely no remorse for what she did! Gloria deserves no less than prison and I for one want her to go asap and Kevin can join her!

FEMMEBLEU - Before I say anything more, let me just say this. What a phenomenal moment between that Sugar Cane and Lily! Never has a kiss not happening, been so incredibly romantic particularly in GC. I thought Cane looked extremely yum in that scene that sizzled like bacon on a griddle and I adore the suspense in this storyline, thank God, that mockery of a connection with Heather the Horrible is yesterday's trash. Ugh and thank God! Lily and Cane are so refreshingly sweet particularly when compared with the crumbling marital mishap between Jack and Sharon the confused one and "Gluttonous Gloria" with her latest paramour who leaves everything to be desired! Gawd, that guy is a total loser but something tells me these two deserve each other. I did love Gloria on the stand the week before, I thought she delivered a tour de force performance when she broke down talking about her love for John. Please do not think me ridiculous, but I thought for once, she was perfectly wonderful and even redeemable but then the commercial break came and I reclaimed my senses with the touch of the remote! Talk about reasons to want to fast-forward but then I digress. Is it not wonderful to see Victor get his just-desserts for once while Nikki moves on with her life with David the Chow Hound as Nita calls him so fondly? I do not know but for some reason or others, I find Nikki with the guy everyone else seems to love to hate, kind of cute. The way he dotes on her and anticipates her every little need, makes him a prince in my book besides when is the last time her actual hubby seemed to be interested in making Nikki anything but a miserable, dejected needy beggar? I despise the way Victor the Grinch that broke Nikki's heart, has tried at every turn to remind her of who she used to be as that exotic dancer. My, what a true Prince Charming that guy turned out to be, reminding Cinderella just how much of a "nobody" she was before dancing at his ball. I truly would be opposed to the scribes reconnecting these two because as far as I can see Victor has done everything to Nikki but squash her like a nasty little crawly thing under his shoe and what woman would find that kind of treatment to be everything she ever dreamed about? Well on that note, I must dash but I will look forward to two things next week, Vicky awakening from her slumber, Brad hearing "You are NOT the father!", Jack finding out he is the father of the red-head with the painted on dresses' bundle of joy and Kevin catching a clue about the love of his life. I cannot imagine why in the world this person keeps insisting on making this kooky little English bird his Mrs. Who ever said anything makes sense in the little town called GC? I do not know the answer to that but I do know this, I am going to keep watching and waiting to see. Oh one last thing Nita, where in the world is Devon and the Professor? They have not been seen or heard from in weeks shouldn't someone send out a search party? After all, Newman Enterprises doesn't seem to be that busy a place with all the coffee breaks and grading papers, well, with a brain like that dishy yet snooty professor, it would never take too long. Oh well, perhaps they will turn up again before St. Nick blows into town and show up in someone's stocking perhaps even someone like you! Well for now, happy viewing everyone!

Nita
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Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of Soap Central or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen and what has happened, and to share their opinions on all of it. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same point of view.

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