Suspense for sweeps

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Suspense for sweeps
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The week of May 15, 2006
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The Vendetta storyline is heating up and getting semi-interesting. Last week, Whitney had a moment of clarity and figured out that the monk is not God. She tried to help Chad, but ended up running back to the monk when he professed his love.

I have, at one point and time, watched every soap on television. Throughout my high school years I was really big into "Days of our Lives" and "The Young and the Restless". My mom still watches Y&R and the other day while visiting her, I watched it with her. As I watched that one show, for the first time in forever, I realized why it is the number one soap on television. Not only do they have people that can actually act, but they have writers interested in the story they tell. They don't automatically hire the best looking person and they don't have to rip off summer blockbusters to fuel their stories.

I will admit I have never read "The Da Vinci Code." With the movie coming out and so much talk about it and the book, I'm pretty sure I know the big secret. I'll try not to ruin it, but if Whitney turns out to be the wife of the most famous person that ever lived (and I am not talking about Elvis here), I'll be disappointed. I understand that "The Da Vinci Code" is supposed to be the big summer blockbuster, but Passions doesn't have to make a story around every summer blockbuster. "The Young and the Restless" has been the number one soap for a hundred years now and the reason for that is that they have NEVER written a story around a summer blockbuster (to my knowledge).

This Vendetta story is heating up and getting semi interesting. Whitney has a moment of clarity and figures out the monk is not God. She tries to help Chad, and ends up running back to the monk when he professes his love. And to top it off, the monk, as "God", calls himself a fool for choosing Whitney. I don't know about you, but I never think of God as a fool. God is all knowing and all-powerful, and in total control. That alone should tell Whitney this is phony.

The monk then tells Whitney she and Chad cannot co exist in the world at the same time. I am interested to know exactly what it is the monk has against Whitney. Does it have to do with the painting Whitney is in? (The painting will most likely reflect the above-mentioned marriage.) And if Whitney is the famed wife or descendant, where does this story go from here? Do the writers even know?

I'm also very intrigued to know why all those people in that club had the Omega symbol tattooed on them. Paloma, Simone, and Jessica were a bit out of place, being everyone else in there was dressed in black. And did the Nancy Drew wannabes really think they could just walk into the club and have all their questions answered? Please, we have at least three more weeks of May sweeps left!!!

So Luis kissed Fancy? What an interesting triangle that would make! Fancy, fed up with Noah (finally) goes after the newly single Luis after Sheridan rejects him yet again. We all know how the writers love to recycle storylines, so of course their relationship would be the exact same as Luis and Sheridan's in the beginning. Sheridan thought her father was wonderful, and fought constantly with Luis who knew Alistair was evil. Of course Fancy knows that Alistair is somewhat evil.

I am so beyond excited that Beth the Bitch is back. The thing is, she seems to really love Marty. And poor Bethie, thinking Luis is going to marry her. Had she not stolen St. Sheridan's child, he might actually would have. Sad that a psycho may be the best mother the poor child has. Sheridan will probably hug him twice and hand him over to nannies to raise him. I am intrigued that Fancy is befriending her.

Brandi Burkhardt (Siren) must be the most amazing actress. She can't possibly be this complete airhead like Siren. However, the never ending "let's make a baby Miguel" got on my nerves this week. And are we 100% sure Siren is/was a mermaid? From the way she wants to jump Miguel's bones every two minutes I'd swear she was a rabbit! His preaching about the responsibilities of parenthood were a little off the mark. The only time he's spent with Maria since he's been back is to keep Fox from tending to her.

Why is it Kay is the only one suspicious of Siren? Jealousy sure, but Miguel and Fox haven't once questioned her, even though it's obvious she's a little off. They even make excuses for her. I mean she's never heard of the internet for goodness sake. She does tend to make a lot of references to the ocean and such and Fox did see her tail. Sooner or later someone is going to have to put two and two together. And please, enough with all the fish references!!!

Gwen comes home and catches Theresa asleep in her bed. I do believe that if I found my husband being seduced by a woman in a garage, and then found said woman asleep in my bed when I got home, I wouldn't worry so much about her and focus my attention on him. The incredible thing is, Gwen again blames Theresa and leaves "innocent" Ethan alone. And the dipstick has the nerve to look at Theresa and utter, "Sorry," once Gwen lays into her. Why can't both women see what an idiot he is?

Theresa would be a dead woman if she had busted into my room like that. Why don't Ethan and Gwen lock their doors? You had to know as soon as Jerry told Theresa it was too dangerous for her to travel alone she'd recruit Ethan. Why is it that Theresa can't seem to wipe her butt without Ethan being there to help her? This is a woman who is running a multi billion dollar company. What does she need him for? Theresa is Britney and Ethan is her Kevin Federline.

The sad thing is, Gwen is an educated woman. But I'm sure we all know that no matter how educated someone is, when it comes to affairs of the heart, they can be the stupidest person in the world. But Gwen needs to wake up and smell the coffee. If Theresa can't take the hint, even though Ethan is supposedly telling her he loves Gwen (which he does right before he makes out with her), then Gwen needs to realize her husband isn't the stand up guy she wants him to be.

Some Random Thoughts:

Apparently Fluffy is splitting his time between Tabby's and Rome. The growls in the catacombs are exactly the same as the ones we hear when Fluffy is licking his chops over Siren.

It's amazing how everyone in Rome (with the exception of the club) automatically speaks fluent English, with little or no accent.

The nun is a bit off, but I would love it if she were Father Lonigan's long lost sister or something like that!!!

Why doesn't Ethan call Sam or T.C. and have them go after their daughters? And that way Theresa won't be in Rome alone!!!

Viewer's Voice:

"I was reading your column and you said that you know Alistair is the monk. Can you explain how that is? I haven't been following the online Vendetta stuff because I don't have the patience, but on the show didn't Sheridan and Chris see his body in the hospital room while the monk was in Rome with Whitney. I know Alistair is unrealistically powerful, but even he can't be at 2 different places at once. I do think the monk is Alistair's twin or something relating to Alistair but I just don't see the monk being Alistair. Aside from that I do agree with you about Noah and Fancy...they are so boring. You know if Noah could have just kept it in the pants then he wouldn't have hurt Fancy twice. He is so clearly Ethan's brother!! They both mislead people." I think the writers won't care enough to give it a proper explanation and they are too unoriginal for the monk to be anyone but Alistair. Thanks Joey!!!

"Hey Brandi, I love your column! I thought you were completely right in the comment about the show going down the toilet due to the Whitney/God/virtual reality line, but this show has been going down the toilet for a VERY long time. How about both Kay and Theresa selling their souls to the devil? Or when Theresa and Gwen, and later, Sheridan and Beth had to undergo 'maternity tests' to see who was the mother of their children? Yes Passions is the goofiest show out there (which is why I've watched it for over 2 years now), but the writers need to understand that it's the campiness that draws us back to the program. Remember Beth's elaborate fantasies, or Mrs. Wallace and the monkey? The last time I laughed out loud at something that wasn't Chris' terrible acting, it was Mrs. Wallace surfing out of town, and that was last summer! Seriously!" Thanks Tiffani!!!

"Hey Brandi, I wanted to agree with other viewers who have been praising the baby character of Endora. This little girl is amazing! I was stunned last week when not only did Endora seem to respond to Tabitha, but showed a ranged of emotions from sorrow, sadness to delight and happiness! Her facial expressions as well as her muttled pronouncements are really convincing! So I just wanted to say Congratulations to Endora for being one of the best actresses on Passions to date!" Thanks Trey!!!

"Oh come on, the whole thing with Jane being sick wasn't about Gwen not wanting Theresa around her! It was about once again, placing her sick need for revenge and hate over the well being of a child. But I'm not surprised-she placed her hatred for Theresa over Sarah when she left the hospital to fight with her! Gwen is about to go down, and it's high time, they've ignored their largest fan base quite long enough!" Thanks Amanda!!!

"Ok, I admit it. I like Siren. Sure she's rather dumb, but she's cute, and Endora likes her. Endora is getting more and more adorable every day. She's a better actor than some on that show I could name. I'm skipping the whole Rome thing, because it, well, it sucks. I will watch Beth, though. I want her in the show, but I don't want her to get caught. I can't believe that dork Ethan praising Theresa to the skies because of what she did for Jane. Hello, the kid threw up. Where was his praise for Gwen, for all the care she's given that child? Gwen, wise up and dumb that creep. He'll be begging you to take him back in no time. I just want big Al to come back and take over again. This is getting worse and worse. I'm down to about ten minutes of show that I watch, less if Tabby and Endora aren't on." Thanks MJ!!!

Until next week friends,
Brandi

Brandi
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Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of Soap Central or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen and what has happened, and to share their opinions on all of it. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same point of view.

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