What a wonderful week it is when I get to put pen to paper - or, finger to keyboard, as it were - and be wickedly opinionated for a few brief moments. Ahhh . . . hello, dear friends!
{wavewave} HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
So, I was thinking to myself - you know, another one of my bellybutton lint moments - and I said to myself, "Hey! We did a review of the women of Llanview, but we (well, . . . I) missed the boat on FantasHunk Island." So, in the interest of fairness and equality, and so that we all might have an opportunity to drool accordingly, let's take a moment to salute our Llantano Menfolk.
First, I'd like to say that after this week, I wouldn't mind it at all if TPTB changed the name of our little hamlet from Llanview to Man-View. What a week! Let us kick off our little discussion with The Man with The Plan, Mr. Asa Buchanan.
Where would we be without Asa? When I think of him, the first word that comes to mind is "rugged" - from his gravelly voice that bespeaks a history of the pebbles and nuggets of wisdom, hard won from hard livin', to the way he struts around with the confidence of a man who knows that he's got the world on a string . . . tied to his little pinky finger. I've known few men whose entry into a room stops all the chatter in an instant. Asa's got that one down to a science.
I miss the days when Asa and Carlo tangoed the two-step, when Blair was married to the old coot, . . . and when he found out that Max Holden played him like a bad game of poker. All of the guys in Man-View can act - but compared to Phil Carey, their chops are just pretty good. Phil Carey, well, he's got it goin' on.
From Asa, let's just mosey on over to his boy, Clint. I thoroughly enjoyed Clint this week, by the way! His scenes with Viki - and then, with Viki and Dorian . . . Hoo Boy! You know, Buchanan men have this way about them when they're being mischievous and when they're in love. And so delightful is the dish when when they're equal parts both. I have to honestly say that I could've never imagined Clint Ritchie's Clint inviting Viki to go skydiving. But Jerry verDorn has such a great command of facial expressions. His face speaks a language all its own. Jerry's the kind of actor that makes me almost forget that no, Clint doesn't live right next door - it's Jerry, and he's acting. And I loved the look he gave Viki when she started poo-pooing Dorian's war cry. "Is it really so outrageous to think that somebody might want me so much that they'll declare war to get me?", his face said. Niiiiice, Mr. verDorn. Very, very nice.
Better buck up, Viki. Dorian's got the war paint out. And she's not afraid to use it.
Okay, so here's a poll: Who do you think Clint'll choose in '07? Tell me why you think so, in fewer than a hundred words, and I'll feature some of your answers in future columns. Bonus points for originality and creativity!
Clint's brother Beau (or Bo, as he's more affectionately known) is a smoothie from the old school. He's got that same Bu-mischievous air about him as his brother an' their pa. Come to think of it, it's probably a good thing that either Asa had no daughters, or there are some out there that we don't know about yet.
Wouldn't that be a hoot?! A girl Buchanan! Yes, yes, I know - Tessica and Natalie (whichever one is the Buch chick this week) - but they didn't spend as much time with Asa as they would have if they'd've grown up having been raised by Asa. They're his
granddaughters, not his daughters. Oh, but have you noticed how much Tess is like her grandpa, by the way? If Tess had had the time with Asa that Jess did . . . hoo boy! And Antonio thinks he's got his hands full
now? Heh.
That reminds me that there are scenes I'd love to see, like Jessica hangin' out with her grandpa, while all of her integration - or rather, inTessgration - is going on. We haven't seen Stepford Jess in a coupla weeks now. I like Tess. Girl can dance!
But I digress . . . We were talking about Bo, weren't we?
So Bob Woods, I've said before, makes every actress he works a scene with look good. A lot of the actors, too. In fact, John McBain has actually grown as a character because of his scenes with Bo Buchanan. But Bob has a way of adding a little something
extra to the female characters that share his scenes. He seems to be a very intense actor. But then again, he's been doing it for how many years now? He's got it down to a science, that way of making the girls giggle and making the guys all want to be his best friend. Female characters become richer, more interesting. More complex, I think. I like watching their reactions to Bo's playfulness, and his seriousness. I realized that in Bo's recent scenes with Evangeline.
Wait, don't get me wrong. Everybody knows how ga-ga I am over Evangeline Williamson/Renée Elise Goldsberry. {{{cue angel choir AAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!}}} BUT, as much an awesome character as is Vange, she gets even more interesting in her scenes with Bo. Bo brings out the playfulness in the ladies he talks to. He's a flirt. Pure and simple. In fact, I'll bet that Bob Woods does that teasing-flirt thing that makes a girl giggle, especially when they're doing a scene that's supposed to be serious. He's very believable, and Bo is probably my second most favorite character in Manview. Well, this week anyway.
I guess the thing I like most about Bo is that I totally get the rigidity of his moral code. No lies. No secrets. Everything is up front, out in the open. I like that. Yes, I know, he's come down a few notches, but even though I don't see it and you don't see it, Bo really digs Paige. We're just going to have to accept that.
Harrumph!
Up for another poll question? Here goes: What do you think it is that Bo likes about Paige? Same thing as before - fewer than a hundred words, creativity, featured in the column, blatherblatherblather. While you think about that, I'm going to refocus my attention, back to Mr. McBain. John, that is.
I find John McBain interesting. His brother . . . not so much. John, I love one week, can't stand the next, and some weeks, I'm happier'n a pig in you-know-what 'cause we've gotten a John-free week. (Wow . . . flashes of memories of Duke . . . and Al . . . and Kevin - yes, Kevin Eleven. [snicker]) I'm glad John's still around. I mean, Bo's a big flirt and Clint's as mischievous as all get-out, but John . . . Now there's a man who can faint right. He doesn't flop all over her, she can try to pick him up without having to tunnel her way from under him . . . He's just dreamy, y'know? I love a man who can do a good man-faint.
Now, Michael Easton doesn't seem as intense as Bob Woods. Michael - it's so weird calling him by his character's brother's name - has this kind of "go-to-guy" thing going on, and he brings that out quite a bit in John. I'll admit now that I'm just way frustrated with John. I think that he's afraid that if he doesn't nip every little tuck and tuck every little nip, he's gonna die of boredom or something! I have never said give-it-a-rest so many times in my life!
Well, that's not true. I said it to his girlfriend when she was in her Cris-or-Jon throes. Oh, and Tessica. Can't forget her. So, I take that back. I have said it more times, just not all in the same week. I just want to hear him say, "At first we were all dying and now we're all alive! That's super!" Okayokayokay, I know John'll never be Big Gay Al, but he'd be more entertaining if he popped up and said, "That's Super!
Anyway . . . let's swoon on over to Cris. Cris is cute. His immaturity gets on my nerves, but that's only because he's the one who puts the cringe in Crange. I loved Cris the painter. Cris the oof-oof-me-so-tough-guy . . . eh, let's not.
I know. I bypassed Antonio. I don't know why. Well, yea I do. The only time he's interesting is when he reaches those tiny little moments of comprehension - those moments when he realizes that he really doesn't know his wife at all. He's so full of himself that I can't wait 'til the day he has to come out of his own hot air and ask Nash about Tess. Tonio is in so way over his head. You know that commercial with Poseidon in it? It's the one where he's got the mother of all headaches and the whole ocean goes haywire until he gets . . . whatever that headache pill is. Anyway, Antonio is like all the fish and fauna in that commercial: flailing around, trying to get hold of something to make the world slow down. He's drowning, man! And Tess is raising his daughter, as well as her own. These girls are gonna be more like Asa than Carlotta. At least I hope so. Docile women scare me because I always get the feeling they need to be protected. More Tess! Less Jess! Thank you!
Funny, too, that it seems so obvious that Jerry verDorn seems to flow better as father/son-in-law with Forbes March better than he does with Kamar de los Reyes. I loved Tonio with Layla. But as he is now, the only one he clicks with on-screen romantically is . . . sadly . . . Claw . . . okay, okay: Claudia. There. She still can't sing. However, if she could sing in the voice that she uses when she's sloshed out of her mind, that might be okay. Truly. I didn't flip the switch when she got caught passed out the other day. Hooray.
On a side note, I did take notice of Nash and Layla pretending to be getting busy, a couple of weeks ago. I could see that being a nice change of scenery on the love-in-the-afternoon front. Really, 'cause I'm not so sure he and Tess would click the way they used to. I know, I'm one of the more vocal Nash/Tess entities. But things grow, people change. Or is it the other way around? Anyway, let's do another poll, okay?
Nash and Layla, yes or no? Why or why not? Same stuff as before, blahblahblah. I really want to know what y'all think. I have a great time reading and responding to all of your emails. Reallyreally.
Speaking of the other day, my heart just leaped a thousand and fiftyhundred times when Vange sang that Boogie song. Cris, Dude, you were way slow. When a woman like Evangeline points at you and sings "get down", you should be down before she finishes the word "get"! Oh, and the shimmies . . . not one, not two . . . was it three? Ooh, a good reason to go re-watch! Yah! I mean, okay - realistically, she'd be way out of my league, too. I'd probably get out the word um, and then maybe something that sounds like a hiccup, if I ever had the opportunity to meet Renée Elise in person. But Cris. Dude. She's tellin' you to get down. Boogie, man!
Hmm . . . who am I missing? Asa, Bo, Clint, Nash, John, Tonio, Cris. Oh, I know . . . I saved the best for last: Spencer and Todd. Oh, Vincent! Let's get Vincent. (Okay, Colleen, I'm reallyreallyreally sorry we didn't do Mr. Yum-Yum-Gimme-Some before now. Here he is.)
Vincent - or Mr. Yum-Yum-Gimme-Some, as he's known in some circles - is just hot all over. Bob's a flirt, but Tobias Truvillian is flirt-i-licious. And the I in the middle stands for I-got-my-eye-on-you, which one had better have if one is to go a round or two with Vincent Jones.
That's really all I can say about Vincent: he's hot, he lights up the screen, and he's as smooth as a baby's tushie. I hope we get to see more depth and complexity, maybe a family member or two tied into the other characters the way Carlotta used to be . . . was it Dorian's maid? But I'd like to see Vince more invested in Manview . . . oh, and Llanview, too.
I've gotta save the best for last, so here we go with Spencer Truman. I love Paul Satterfield. He's so twisted! His Spencer reminds me of AJ Quartermaine on GH, except that Spencer really doesn't need a bottle of booze to make him a whack job. He's pretty fine, all on his own. I'm afraid to look in my own head right now because the storyline I'm imagining is so very much more twisted than the AJ/Michael/Sonny tug'o'war a couple of years ago on GH. I mean, for Heaven's sake, how in the world can he convince himself that it's okay to kidnap Jack? He was only into Jack's mommy maybe a year or so. But then, I kinda do understand. Once, I was in a relationship with someone who had an absolute angel of a little girl. I endured the unhealthiness of the relationship for months because I could not bear to hurt that little angel with a break-up. Not being able to stick around and watch her grow up still haunts me sometimes, but I know she's fine. So, yeah, I kinda get why Spencer feels justified in kidnapping Jack. I hate it, hate it, hate it, though. But it is going to make for some great must-watch moments. Starr's gonna be off the hook - you can believe that!
And Starr's dad, Todd, is gonna be off the hook, too! Well, really, let's be honest. Todd's off the hook on any given day. He wakes up off the hook. Jack, kidnapped? Ooh, that one's gonna sting. Bad.
Trevor St John, in my humbled and unbiased opinion
[duck!], is the best Todd Manning, easy. He is so great as Todd that I am finding it really difficult to reconcile the Trevor Todd with the Roger Howarth original. Well, specifically, the rape of Marty Saybrooke (whom I really like, by the way - the new one, I mean). I can't see Todd doing that if Trevor had been playing Todd for this whole time. Roger's Todd was such a boy - a boy in a man's suit. Nothing against Roger, mind you. Todd was my favorite from just about the moment "go". He was like Kid Rock before it was cool to be a Kid-Rock type. Props to Roger for creating such an awesome character.
So, imagine that quantum leap that Todd took - from being the boy Todd who'd just found he was a Trust Fund Baby to the Todd who . . . almost . . . weeps at his (we're not sure if she's still his) wife's bedside after he accidentally pushes her off the roof of a building with the psychopath she used to sleep with. "Do we still have a chance?" ? ?
Okay, Blair, I'm kinda liking you these days. So, I'm gonna pull a Langston on you.
Blair. He's a psychopath. No, not Spencer. We always knew
he was a psychopath. No, honey. Sweetie. It's Todd.
Todd. Is. A. Psychopath. Notice the capital P? Yes, yes I understand that he's the father of your kids and God-bless-you for loving him. But, as my momma says, "Some people you've gotta feed with a long-handled spoon". Love that boy from a Distance. Capital D. It doesn't have to be distance, as in . . . say, New York/Cali. You could do that Melissa-Julie thing and buy two houses back-to-back - with a good amount of yardage between you - so that the kids still have unlimited access to both parents.
Look, Girlfriend: He knew you were there. He knew you were holding on to Spencer to get Spencer off of him. He saw an opportunity to push Spencer off the building, and he did it - without a thought as to whether you were still hangin' on. Doesn't that . . . bug you? Just a little?
Anyway, that said, Todd is still my Number One Favorite Character. I think the thing I really dig about him is that he never, ever really completely lets his guard down. Ever. He's not a playa. He was pretty caddish when he was Roger's Todd, but he'd really begun to flesh out who he was as a man when Roger Howarth left. And when he came back as Trevor's Todd, he was more brooding, calculating man who doesn't let his guard down anymore. He wants to, with Vange. (So would I) But now that she's stung him, I wonder if he'll let her back in again. Be interesting to watch. I totally dig Todd because I totally dig anybody who can go from sweet to psycho without so much as a half-second's notice.
Besides, I'm not sure that Llanview - or even Manview - could handle a playa. There would be a serious fan revolt, that I truly believe. And I find that very funny. Really, I do. Well . . .I guess Vincent could be considered a playa, at least he was when he first got to Llanview. He and R.J. both seem to be guys who were playas . . . all the way up until the started living in Llanview. I wonder what would happen if a playa came to Llanview . . . and stayed a playa.
So, okay, last poll of the night. It's about Rex. If you were Rex, would you have kept the secret about Tommy from Todd? Yea/Nay/ahundredwords/blahblahblah.
Okay, yea, I forgot about Rex, too, and this was my way of getting out of it. I mean, what's to say? He's a bad-boy-turned-PI, he likes strutting around in underoos designed by Minnie, and he looks up to Bo. He should. Bo's got it goin' on.
Anyway, it's well past midnight, so I'm wishing you all a Happy New Year filled with lotsa love, peace, . . . and Boogie. (Ah!)
Cheers!
EY Jackson
Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of Soap Central or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen and what has happened, and to share their opinions on all of it. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same point of view.
