Now that's what I call muse ick!

For the Week of May 27, 2019
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Some people are singing, some people are stabbing, some people are tumbling down the stairs. Everyone is dressed to the nines! A little glitz, a little glamour, a little attempted murder. You know, a typical week in Port Charles. Let's explore in this week's Two Scoops!

Now that the scheme to smoke Ryan out of hiding has come to light, maybe Scott and Ava can start a romance. Now that Shiloh has been sidelined, maybe Sam and Jason can be a couple in public. Now that Brad's lie about baby Wiley is going to blow up in his face, maybe Michael will get his son Noah back, and Willow will ditch Chase to be a mom to the baby she thought was her own. Now that Oscar is gone, maybe Cameron can be there for Josslyn until he's just... there. Now that Ryan has been caught, maybe Jordan will get a new kidney (if she agrees to pardon a demented serial killer).

Readers, there are a lot of storylines that have now reached their climax, so why do I feel so blasé?

Maybe I've been binge-watching Game of Thrones too long this month, but sometimes I just want the bad guys to die violent, horrible deaths. I wanted Ava to blow a hole through Ryan's chest for killing Kiki. I wanted Shiloh's tumble down the spiral staircase to end with a broken neck. Maybe not to kill him, but just to paralyze him so he couldn't rape any more girls. Doesn't anyone in Port Charles have a dragon to torch that creepy Dawn of Day house to the ground?

At least Ava got a little revenge in when she lunged at Ryan and left him with a knife in the back, but will that stab wound prevent him from donating a kidney?

On the other hand, I love Curtis, and I'd be sad to see him heartbroken, but I figure NuNina will be heartbroken soon, too, when she finds out Sasha isn't her daughter. Curtis and Nina are already tight, so maybe they can find solace together. Then maybe Robert can take over for Jordan and stay in town as police commissioner. I really like having him around.

I am glad the whole saga of the missing ring is over, too. I think about being in the writers' room and someone says, "Hey, what if Robert take's Finn's engagement ring and won't give it back?" And someone else says, "Yeah! We can stretch that out for weeks!" Ugh.

One thing I know for sure, I would never put a loved one with Alzheimer's in the facility where Mike and Yvonne live. What sort of care or oversight are they getting? Did none of the staff wonder where Mike suddenly got his hands on an expensive sapphire engagement ring? Did any of them pause for concern when Mike proposed to a woman they know is already married? Were Mike and Yvonne chaperoned to the tux and gown rental store, or were they out at the mall, shopping alone?

Isn't the hospital aware of Mike's past of accidentally kidnapping his granddaughter because he thought her to be his dead daughter? Yikes. I never see a nurse or a staff member or anyone checking on the patients, just two Alzheimer's patients freely roaming around the city with no supervision. Sonny was watching Mike more closely when he lived at their house. The reason he moved Mike to a hospital was for the constant care and oversight for his own safety.

Okay, I'll stop now. Next up, the Nurses Ball. I love all the gowns and tuxedos. I love the song-and-dance numbers. Nina's gown, and Willow's gown were my two favorites. What about you? Lucy (Lynn Herring) looks amazing in every gown they put her in, and her inner and outer sparkle and shine is the thing that makes the Nurses Ball fun every single year. Also, I must mention Sam's gown with all that cleavage! If I had her body, I'd be walking around the frozen food section at Ralph's in that gown.

One thing bugged me: Why wasn't Robin there? Did Kimberly McCullough not want to attend, or did they not invite her? Inquiring minds want to know.

But those who were there reminded me how many multi-talented folks we have in the cast of GH. Every time I hear ddy (Epiphany) sing, I wish I could go see her in concert and just listen to her sing for two hours. Amazing talent! GH is overflowing with talented people, Ned (Wally Kurth), Valentin (James Patrick Stuart), Cameron (William Lipton), Josslyn (Eden McCoy), Chase (Josh Swickard), Liesl (Kathleen Gati), and Ava (Maura West) all did wonderful musical numbers for the ball. The song choice for Franco and Liesl -- "Guilty" -- was a hoot. I cracked up! My one complaint about all the musical numbers -- bad lip-synching. Just let them sing it live.

The whole storyline about Cam going to see Joss with Oscar's last message, Cameron's song (which he wrote!), and the photo montage behind him, then Joss coming to the ball and singing the song she and Oscar had been working on, was very sweet and moving. Having Jax back in town at this moment is so perfect -- having Josslyn's Dad there to support her through this time is exactly the thing Jax would do. I just enjoyed that entire arc.

Next opinion: Amy (Risa Dorken) only comes back once a year to sing now, which is too bad -- her character added a little sizzle at the nurses' desk. While I don't ever want to hear about Ask Man Landers again, I would love a little Amy sprinkled into my hospital scenes. Or Amy in a romance. I think it's time for Griffin Munro to come back, and he'll need a shoulder to cry on. Or, she can be a rival for Liesl's advice column -- that would be fun to watch.

But I digress. While the Nurses Ball was still going strong, Nina overheard Willow talking to her lawyer and blurted out the fact that she had a baby, which of course Shiloh overheard. But seriously, why was she talking to her lawyer after business hours while attending a ball? In the exact location where the person she most wanted to keep this secret from was sitting?

So, Shiloh now knows Willow had a baby. He doesn't believe that it died. (Although, of course, it did.) Lucas figured out that the reason Willow gets so intense around Wiley is because their adopted baby is hers. Of course, Wiley isn't Willow's baby. He's Michael and Nelle's baby. But only Brad and Nelle know that! Brad is in full panic mode and asking Julian to intervene, and Julian put on his mob face and assured him no one would take their baby. I am so ready for this to come out. Get Chloe Lanier on the phone and book her a flight to L.A. so she can tearfully spit out the truth that she gave her baby to Brad to raise. Let's do this!

Shiloh was so upset that Sam decided the best way to calm him down was to let Shiloh take her to a remote location, drug her, and attempt to rape her. I know that sounds harsh, but seriously. Why would you ever willingly put yourself in that situation? Sure, Spinelli's got mad cyber skills, but technology fails sometimes, right? Sam and Jason have been holding a grudge against Franco all these years for faking a rape, so now I guess they have to forgive him? Since Sam willingly let someone drug her who was going to actually rape her, it's only fair.

Do you get how sick this is? Sam has been coming on to Shiloh for weeks now, trying to gain his trust. A reasonable man would assume "Hey, it seems like this chick wants me. I should make a move." But Shiloh only wants to have sex with women when they are drugged and semi-unconscious. Isn't that the creepiest thing? He would rather drug someone and take advantage of them than actually have them want him back and choose to sleep with him. The whole thing makes me want to puke.

All that having been said, watching Jason slam Shiloh into a wall and toss him tumbling down the spiral staircase was very satisfying. Equally satisfying was Sonny's mob-a-licious visit to Shiloh in the hospital, where he warned Shiloh that bad things were going to start happening to him. I think Shiloh probably peed the hospital bed.

I am waiting for the scene when Sam confesses to Kristina what she has been doing with Shiloh and why. Oh, the tears! The hugging! It will be so perfect.

What will happen tomorrow, dear readers? Will Laura Collins, out chasing serial killers, be voted the most badass mayor in America? Will Scott have nightmares about pulling off Ryan's creepy fake hand? Will Margaux have a pledge with Shiloh that prevents her from prosecuting him? Will Lulu give up waiting on Dante and have a fling? Will Lucy ever stop crushing on Doc? Will Ava go to jail for stabbing Ryan, or will the town give her an award? Will Ryan agree to give Jordan a kidney, or will he get on the table and one-handed stab the surgeon with the scalpel and escape? Will Ghost Oscar pay any more visits to Port Charles, and if so, will he still be wearing a tux?

Only tomorrow knows, dear readers, and I will tune in tomorrow as long as there are tomorrows.
Tamilu

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Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of Soap Central or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen and what has happened, and to share their opinions on all of it. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same point of view.

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